where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I have post one night stand depression
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
