Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
