Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
