I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
