Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
