I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
