How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
