I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
