party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
