i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
