Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
What a dumb baby whore.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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