your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
