I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize