Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
