Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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