Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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