so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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