Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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