Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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