I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
