More tranny stories later!
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
