okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize