Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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