So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
