I wanna bring you to show and tell
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
