I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
