hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the day after is always just damage control
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
