White coat. Heels.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
