Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
