I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
