He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We just shotgunned beers for America
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
