So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
is it fun? or sober?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
