dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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