nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
