Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
