I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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