Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize