I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
