dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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