i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize