Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize