Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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