Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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