I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize