He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He better not be in your backpack
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize