Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
