just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
