Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
