I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
