We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize