I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
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