I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
