3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
