Me. At least after what I've been through.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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