its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
