she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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