Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
