There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
