I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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