carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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