Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
