butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
