If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
