best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize