I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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