last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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