I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
