Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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