It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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