sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
