He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Less talking, more tequila
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
