Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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