Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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