if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize