wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize